


Richie, The Sad Clown

by enjolrasstaire



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Richie has anxiety, Richie overthinks everything, Richie thinks everyone secretly hates him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 00:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrasstaire/pseuds/enjolrasstaire
Summary: Richie gets inside his own head, and begins to overthink everything.





	Richie, The Sad Clown

Richie is loud, obnoxious, and as crude as they come. There’s no question about it.

“Beep beep, Richie” exists for a reason. 

He’s painfully aware of it too. 

At first he used to love their teasing. He used to thrive off the attention it brought him. 

But of course too much of a good thing, becomes a bad thing eventually.

He thinks about all the times they’ve called him loud mouth, obnoxious, crude, or his least favorite word in the dictionary, annoying. 

All the times he’s been left as a look out, or a doorman have really got him thinking.

It all starts to make sense now.

Did his friends really hate him that much?

It’s not often that he gets into moods like this. Most days he’s fine, and barely thinks about this at all. 

He begins to think about the possibility of the Losers getting tired of him. He thinks about them trading him in for someone who’s less annoying. 

That would rid them of “your mom jokes”, and crude comments. They wouldn’t have to beep anybody anymore. They wouldn’t have to put up with him and his stupid trashmouth. 

When they were naming their fears, he lied to them. Of course he feels guilty for doing it, but he didn’t want to burden them with his anxiety. 

Saying he was afraid of clowns was the easy way out. 

He’s Richie Tozier after all!

He’s the one who never gets down in the dumps. He never lets all the “beep beeps” get to him. 

Or at least that’s what he lets them think. He just goes along with it, because he doesn’t want them to deal with anymore of his crap. 

He still hasn’t figured out that talking about things actually helps. He can’t count the times he’s held in his feelings, in fear that if he says anything to them he might be right.

They might actually hate him. And the only reason the Losers let him hang out with them is out of pity. Because they know he has no one else. 

His mind wonders to a question that’s been lingering there for a while

Would the Losers be nothing without him? 

Or

Would he be nothing without the Losers?

Richie obviously knows the latter is the truth. They would be fine. No, they would be better without him holding them back.

Somewhere deep down he know’s he’s being irrational. 

And that’s why he uses the voices, and the jokes. He uses them as a coping mechanism. 

He just hopes he can be someone that they actually want to be around. He could be a puppet and the Losers could pull his strings, making him become the perfect friend.

But all he does is suffer in silence. He keeps on acting like nothing’s wrong. 

Because he’s the happy-go-lucky trashmouth. 

Not some brooding sad clown who takes things too personally.

He loves the irony of it all. 

The class clown who can’t take a joke.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tumblrs @enjolrasstaire, and @thisisbatteryacidyou-slime!


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